Four Squares by Bobby Finger

Author:Bobby Finger [Finger, Bobby]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-06-18T00:00:00+00:00

8

2022

THE FIRST TIME Artie entered the GALS center, he had contorted his body in a way that’s all too familiar to residents and employees of old folks’ homes, one that’s not dissimilar from the way a person sinks into themself when entering a hospital. Some may chalk it up to a fear of death, or an unwillingness to confront one’s mortality, but the ugly truth is that it’s more to do with shame. Artie, like any child visiting their dying grandmother in a stale-smelling hospital wing, felt as though he shouldn’t be seeing these people, these pitiful older people, as they went on with what was left of their lives in their crumbling little bodies. His shoulders fell. His head collapsed an inch or so toward the ground. His whole body seemed narrower.

But when he walked into the dining hall on the first Monday of November, he stood more erect. He took up more space. He overcompensated for his brokenness—that obvious physical brokenness—by assuming the personality of someone who had no idea that they were broken. The sadness in his eyes began to disappear and was replaced with the barely visible existential worry that was always there. He wasn’t put off by the larger-than-normal crowd. If he had to explain who he was to another member, he’d use a well-rehearsed introduction. If he had to make small talk, he would do so with a smile. And if he had to answer a question about his injury, he would tell them the full truth. He was briefly a volunteer, but then he fell, and now he’s here. By the time he made it through the trenches of the drinks station to Jim’s table, one of two with an open seat—and the only with Carson—he had done all three.

“Hello, hello,” Jim said as Artie set his plate down at the seat beside him. “Wasn’t sure if we’d ever see you again.”

“Why’s that?” Artie said, unwrapping a pat of butter for his slice of bread.

“You’re a baby! Babies get nervous their first time. They feel like they don’t belong. Plus, you didn’t come to the Halloween party. Second best party of the year.”

“What’s first? VE Day?”

“Jim’s talking about New Year’s Eve, but I personally prefer the Oscar party.”

Artie snapped his head toward the new voice. Short and round, with a head of untamable, unkempt hair, he reminded Artie of a frightening English literature professor he hadn’t thought about in decades.

“Ellis,” he said. “I know you’re Artie. New guy. Fell off a damned ladder.”

“We met before it all went black. I remember.”

Ellis nodded once, a brash, almost military-like snap of the neck. “Nice to see you, too.”

“So I looked nervous? I thought I was hiding it pretty well.”

“You weren’t hiding shit,” Ellis said. “But I’m glad you’re over it now because we’re all in the same boat here. Sooner you recognize that, the better.”

“Listen to Ellis,” Jim said. “He’s the wisest one here.”

“Bullshit. I’m just old. And none of us are wise.”

Artie glanced at

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